Understanding the Basics of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and its Techniques
- Abuzar Talibov
- Mar 8, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 29, 2023
Contrary to popular belief NLP is not a method to manipulate people around us (!). Shortly said it's a scientific approach in psychology, which supports us to build strong skills in understanding ourselves, primarily, and of course others. In general, by understanding human psychology we can use a variety of methods to alter the opinion of others, but it's up to us how we apply them in real life.
How do we define Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)?
Based on the clarification by Richard Bandler and John Grinder:
"Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a technique that improves communication, personal development, and psychotherapy. NLP proposes that there is an association between neurological processes, and learned behaviour patterns and that these can be altered to achieve particular life goals"
To simplify the explanation, our brain retrieves the information around us and we interpret the signals mainly irrationally based on learned behaviour patterns. This causes the output in thoughts, feelings and emotions. However, with the help of NLP, we can control and filter our behaviour.
NLP for Communication
Like learning a new language, but instead of words and grammar, with NLP we are learning the language of communication and how to use it to build stronger relationships and achieve better outcomes at work. But it's important to focus on language patterns, body language, and communication style instead. As an example, by identifying and mirroring the communication style of your partner, we create a harmonious and effective exchange of information.
NLP for Leadership
A truly great leader is someone who remains composed and steady during challenging situations, and whom others turn to for guidance during times of crisis. NLP can help us learn how to reflect on our own emotional triggers, work through them, and develop a patient and courageous mindset that can endure and overcome difficulties. By certain NLP techniques, we can build self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and resilience, which are key elements for leaders to motivate and encourage others.
NLP for Personal Development
Like in meditation, with NLP we step back to clarify and discover the inner negative patterns. Step by step we will be able to improve our self-awareness and manage our emotions, which will lead to developing a greater understanding of our own values, beliefs, and motivations.
What are the NLP techniques?
1. Swish Technique or Swish Pattern Technique
The swish technique is a popular NLP technique for replacing an unwanted behaviour or response with a desired one. It is typically used to help individuals break negative patterns of behaviour, such as smoking or overeating, and replace them with more positive habits.
The first step is to the identification of the unwanted behaviour that we want to change, and the desired behaviour that we want to replace it with. Then we need to visualize and create a mental image of unwanted and desired behaviours. The last step is to quickly "swish" the two mental images, so that the unwanted behaviour image becomes small and dull, while the desired behaviour image becomes large and bright.
2. Dissociation Technique
Another NLP technique is the dissociation (or external observation) technique. The dissociation technique is a method used particularly in negative emotional states such as stress and tension.
With the dissociation technique, the person brings the stressful moment to mind and continues the technique until they have positive feelings while watching that moment like an observer.
3. Reframing Technique
The reframing technique is another method among NLP techniques. The method is applied by looking at the situation from a different perspective and having positive feelings when negative emotions or thoughts are present.
4. Mirroring Technique
The "7-38-55 Rule" suggests that only 7% of your message is conveyed through words, while the tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language is responsible for 55% of your message. Mirroring is a technique that uses body language to establish a connection and create rapport with anyone quickly. By mirroring the other person's body language and energy level, and even using their vocabulary, they will naturally view you as more trustworthy because you appear similar to them.
5. Milton Model Technique
The technique involves the use of language patterns, such as vague language and metaphors, to help individuals access their unconscious minds and make positive changes in their behaviour and thinking towards us. The Milton Model is often used in hypnotherapy, coaching, and communication to build rapport, induce trance, and facilitate change.
6. Belief Change
By using this technique, we can change our beliefs about our abilities and potential, which can help us become more confident, assertive, and successful in achieving our goals.
An example can be - let's say there's an employee who wants a salary increase but has a limiting belief that they're not good enough or don't deserve it. This limiting belief may be holding them back from asking for a raise or negotiating effectively. But by changing this limiting belief to a more empowering one, such as "I have the skills and value to earn a higher salary," they may feel more confident and assertive in asking for what they deserve.
In general, the techniques of NLP are not limited to the mentioned ones but can be expanded if we check the usability of NLP in other fields.
Conclusion
Even though the NLP is a scientific approach by understanding its techniques we can build strong skills in understanding ourselves and others, improve communication, develop emotional intelligence and resilience, and become effective leaders. Those techniques can be better learnt through training programs, workshops, or online courses, but still, practice is crucial to letting our brain absorb the approaches effectively.
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